Sensei, Where Do We Pee During Missions?
by ChoiSeungHyun110487TOP
Summary: Have you ever wondered where ninja pee during missions? Kakashi 'teaches' the 101 to Naruto! Crack. R&R!


Orochimaru: As_sss_umi-chan does_ss _not own Naruto.

Asumi: You gay pedophile. Killjoy.

Orochimaru: Sa_sss_uke-kun is_ss_ mine!

Asumi: Oh go on, steal all the fun. I hate you.

Sasuke: I hate him too. Bastard's been trying to rape me!

Asumi: Oh yeah. Right on, Sasuke!

* * *

(On the morning of Team 7's first mission)

They were not yet far from Konoha when Naruto suddenly screamed, "Oi! Kakashi-sensei! Where do we pee during missions?"

Before Kakashi could answer, Sakura hissed, "Idiot! We're not yet a kilometer from Konoha and you're already asking where you'll pee?"

Kakashi sighed. "Wherever you want to. Preferably somewhere where you won't be seen peeing."

"Dobe. Don't you know that?" Sasuke smirked.

"Of couse I don't. It wasn't taught in the Academy, duh." Naruto snapped.

"You could always use your common sense. As if you had one." Sasuke retorted and smirked.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not some emo prodigy going around with an aura practically screaming 'rape me! fuck me!' all over him! Wait, did I just say that out loud?"

"...EW." Sasuke said disgustedly.

Apalled, eye twitching, Sakura screamed bloody murder. "SHANNARO!" She then proceeded to beat the blonde to a pulp.

-

"Sensei, let's make camp. It's already nightfall." Naruto practically begged. In response, Kakashi put down his bag and continued reading his perverted book.

"I'm surprised the dobe knew such big words." Sasuke said to Sakura. The latter nodded.

"Excuse me, nightfall isn't a big word. It's only like," Naruto counted on his fingers. "nine letters!"

"Yeah, whatever. Don't think about it anymore, or else your puny brain might explode from all the thinking." Sasuke said while pitching his tent. Sakura giggled.

"My brain is not puny." Naruto huffed.

"It is. That, or it's made of ramen."

"I'd rather my brain was made of ramen than it was puny."

"What if it's both?" Sasuke brought out an x-ray of Naruto's head. True enough, it was puny and it was made of ramen.

Naruto's jaw dropped. "What the hell? Where did you get that?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I had to find out if you guys were normal or not. Turns out you're unique."

"Yeah, because you're brain's made of ramen. And puny." Sakura said, not really paying attention.

"Nani?!"

"And that makes you unique. And abnormal." Sasuke added.

Naruto turned to his teacher for help. "Sensei, they're teaming up on me!" He whined.

"You can live through that. Team up with your _inner_."

Naruto smiled wickedly. "You're gonna like it."

Sasuke and Sakura screamed.

--

(After the torture)

"Phew! All that torture's made me tired!" Naruto panted and leaned against a tree. Looking at his dazed teammates, he could only laugh at them.

Kakashi looked up from his book. "Now now, Naruto. It's not nice to laugh at your teammates after you torture them."

"But isn't it what villains do?"

"You wanna be Hokage, right? Are Hokages villains?"

"No, they're not!"

"That's right. Now be a good boy and sit over there." Kakashi gestured to the log across from him.

Grudgingly, Naruto obeyed. After a few minutes, he stood up and started pacing back and forth.

Again, Kakashi looked up from his book, annoyed that he was disturbed while reading his precious Icha-Icha. "What now, Naruto?"

Naruto, who was holding his crotch, asked, "Remember that question I asked you this morning?"

"Yeah? What about it?"

"You didn't tell me the answer."

"To tell the truth, I don't pee on missions. So I don't know."

"What kind of a person are you?! You don't pee on missions? You don't teach your student what to do in case of emergency?"

"In an emergency? You call backup, hide, or run."

Naruto sweatdropped. "Sensei, how do you pee?"

"I go to the bathroom. I pee standing up. I'm not a girl."

"You don't call backup, run, or hide?"

"Of course not. Why in the world would I do that? Call backup when I'm about to pee? Nonsensical."

"Then why are you telling me to call reinforcements, hide or run when I'm about to pee?"

"Oh, were you? You didn't ask."

"It was an emergency! I'm asking you what to do!"

"I said, I don't know because I. Don't. Pee. On. Missions. Got it?"

"Wait, you don't pee for days?"

"You can say that."

"Ew, sensei! You just hold it in and it doesn't explode?"

"Nope."

"Lucky. Lucky you for having an abnormal bladder that can hold gallons of pee in days!"

"I know, right?" Naruto cocked an eyebrow at him. "I mean, yeah, sure."

"Whatever." And Naruto forgot all about his on-the-verge-of-bursting bladder and his pee.

* * *

I was bored, so I made this, a crackfic about pee. Lol. R&R!


End file.
